Are you ever frustrated with your home?

Sometimes it feels like the place we live is a cozy nest that welcomes us at the end of the day, where we can invite those we care about to sit for a while, talk about what matters in life, play a game or enjoy a treat together.  But other times, we get caught up in what we don’t have, or what we have that we don’t like, and it can overwhelm us, or distract us from focusing on the things we want to accomplish and the way we want to live.  This is why I think that practicing meaningful home design is a valuable skill we can (and should) learn.  (This is part two of the Temporary Nesting series – in part one I shared ideas and resources for purposeful planning.)

Our homes are temporary.

In the truest sense, most of us will only live in our current home for a short time.  Maybe it’s your dorm room or newlywed apartment.  Maybe you’re in a “starter home,” and plan to upgrade in a few years.  It might be that you’re renting (so many of our military friends are in this situation), and you can’t make major changes or don’t have outside space of your own.  It’s important to remember when you’re frustrated with the current state of your house, that you won’t live in it forever.  Don’t let that stop you from personalizing in the ways you can.  And don’t let it consume your thoughts if you don’t like something about your house; look for ways to make tweaks that you can focus on with joy.  

Remembering our homes are temporary also helps us keep our “likes and dislikes” in perspective.  There’s so much more important than the lighting fixtures in my master bath, and if I never get to replace them, it won’t matter eternally.  At the same time, if I’m able to set aside the BIG DREAMS I have that aren’t achievable in this moment and instead focus on what I can embrace and what I can reasonably alter, I’ll be so much more joy-filled.

AND… this temporary home isn’t more important than the people who live in and visit it.

So when I’m tempted to be irritated at the people and treasure the things more, it helps to remember that the “stuff” will be gone, but the relationships are an eternal investment.  Keep that in mind when you’re purchasing decor and furniture.  As a good friend said, “the things should serve the people, not the other way around.”

Our homes are tools.

Your home is a tool you can use to accomplish the goals that are most important to you, and to develop the relationships that are important.  Set it up that way, and don’t feel any pressure to do otherwise.

There’s a sweet mom of one of my kids teammates who my kids say has the Most. Beautiful. Home.  As in, if she’s not a professional designer, she might have hired one (or she should consider a side gig!), and the elegance throughout every corner is a delight for the eyes.  Her house might be a nightmare for a mom of toddlers, but she has older kids and she’s raised them well to be polite and respectful of their surroundings.  She’s also created a basement hangout for her teens and their friends (and she and her husband keep a close eye on the the hang-time, I’m told!).  She’s created a home that works for her, meeting her need for beauty and her kids’ need for a social spot, in this season.

Whatever your season or living situation, there are ways you can make your home work for you.  Rearrange storage to make what you use often easily accessible.  Place lighting where it helps welcome board game time or homework space.  Replace useless decor and furniture as you’re able, with pieces that are functional and inspiring to the kind of life you live (or aspire to).  If you have collectibles and small people, create a high-up storage and display option.  If you’re in a tiny apartment, use pieces that have multiple functions.

One way I do this is with my coffee and tea mugs.  I have a slight obsession.  {My husband will be pleased I’ve publicly confessed.}  I’ve corralled all my coffee and tea supplies into one corner of the kitchen, where I can serve our crew and our guests, and I made a decision a while back to only buy mugs that are white and that have meaning.  For instance, if we visit an amazing coffee shop and love our time and our treats, I might let myself buy a mug.  The white blends with most of our other dishes, and having limits gives me some leeway to splurge, but in a way that’s useful.  And when I serve someone coffee in a mug with a story, it’s like a little gift.  I do have a few mugs that were gifts and are an exception, but over time they often get relocated to new, loving homes.  😉

We can (and should) create meaningful design for our homes.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you crate a space that works for you, and helps you accomplish your calling and goals for yourself and your family:

• What do I love about my home?  
• What do I need to change about my home (to make it work for me/us)?
• Before I make a purchase for my home, what factors are most important?

Make a list of what you love about your home right now.  (I mean what you love right now; I’m not bossing you around to write it, right now.)  Write down things like “the vintage, high ceiling beams,” “the puddle of light on my breakfast table from the kitchen windows,” “the size of my linen closet,” and “the woods at the end of my street.”  Maybe it’s super great that you actually have a washer and dryer, or that you’ve just hung pretty drapes in your bedroom, or that you have your aunt’s teapot.  Beginning with what you love helps you identify what works, and it helps you have a contented heart.  That leads to a more joyful homemaker, wiser purchasing decisions, and gracious everyday living.

Next, decide what really needs to change.  Maybe your layout includes the dreaded tiny little “formal front room” you never use, except to pile stuff to put away someday.  Can you turn that room into a dual-purpose office/guest room or a place for your kiddos to do homework?  Can you create a cozy little corner for reading and studying?  Do you desperately need more pantry space but have a wasted “junk closet?”  Throw in some shelving and make it work for you.  It might be that you have a piece of furniture you could re-purpose in another space in your home.  If there are big changes you can’t afford to make yet, start a running list of things you’d like to make or purchase when you can afford the time or money, or when you find the right piece at the right time and price for you.

Finally, decide what really matters to you when you buy or make, redesign or tweak for your home.  (I’ve got a list of questions for you to download below to help you make those decisions!)  List them in order of need and keep that list handy (I have a running list on my phone), so when you’re out and about you can know what you really need.  Include measurements and colors for items that need to be very specific in design.  Having that list is also helpful when you’re tempted to buy something you don’t need; you can immediately see why it’s worth it to pass it by for today.

Our Real Home (our “forever home”) is The Bomb.

I hear this term “forever home” tossed around a lot, and I get what people mean.  They long to (or they believe they already did) find the house they think will last them a good, long time, the one they will invest in and grow in… because that idea of a “forever home” means security, and comfort, and peace.

But the deeper truth is this: if you are a Christian, your “forever home” is waiting for you, and it’s not on this earth.  I don’t mean any disrespect when I say it’s the bomb, but I think it’s not a stretch to say God cares about the aesthetics of that Home more than the one you’re living in, or the one you’re saving to move into.  He goes to great lengths to describe Heaven, and the sound of it is pretty darn awesome.  Understanding the awesome-factor of a true “forever home” that is not just beautiful, but anchored by fulfillment of our entire purpose, to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, puts everything into perspective in our temporary nests.

Just like it can help us delay purchases to know the things we’re really saving for, it can help us to make wise choices for our home, when we keep in perspective the eternal life we’re made for.  I write to encourage myself and you to streamline our focus on loving God, loving people, and celebrating our homes as a way to do those first two.  I write because I believe these are core callings on our lives, and I try hard to make decisions for my home, my relationships, and my commitments that reflect those callings.  (More thoughts on this in the video I shared on Facebook.)

Our biggest investments should be in our forever home.

It’s so, so easy to get caught up in beautiful stuff we neeeeeed… because we saw it on social media, or it called to us from the home store.  But things are only “good” if they help us achieve bigger purpose in life.  So while it’s a blessing if we can make our homes beautiful, the bigger blessing is if that beauty points us toward our Creator, toward wise thinking, and toward “good works.”  When we make a treat to serve to a friend, it’s not the pretty dishes we use but rather the sweet conversation we foster, that has lasting meaning. The trend of hand-lettered signs and prints that feature scripture and inspiring quotes lines up so well with the admonition in Deuteronomy to write God’s truths on our hearts and our doorframes and our gateposts.  When we decorate our home with art that points to God and His love, His character and works, we do that quite literally.  

But we don’t need decor to do that.  We can give our home purpose, whether it’s large or small, beautifully appointed or frugally spare, when we love the people in it, whether they live with us or we invite them to visit.  So challenge yourself as you look at each space in your home: does it work as a tool to help me accomplish my calling?  This is what meaningful home design is all about.

[tweetthis hidden_hashtags=”#meaningfuldesign”]Does your home distract you from your purpose, or help you work out your calling in life? [/tweetthis]

I created a tool I think can help us with meaningful home design, when we make decisions to buy or create something for our homes. 

This list of questions will help you apply these 5 Truths for Meaningful Design to purchases you make and ways you choose to make your home work for you.  Grab the list and let me know how it’s useful for you!!

Inspiring Welcome,

Angela