Hospitality Beyond the Holidays

I love the holidays, and I love decorating our home according to the seasons.  I also find the holidays are both an easy time to practice opening our homes to others, and a hard time to fit it into a naturally busy season!  My goal this year is to “dwell well.”  I want to take the closeness we feel to God at the holidays, the inspiration we feel when we look into God’s work in His word and in the world, and practice that consistently throughout the year.  I asked my friend Katie, the heart behind Hospitable Homemaker, (who’s passionate about equipping others to build community through biblical hospitality), for some ideas.  I’m so excited she’s here to share some ideas for us on how to practice hospitality beyond the holidays.

From Katie:

Often when we think about hospitality, our minds drift to holidays, when gatherings abound and tradition makes hospitality a priority.  Those times of abundant feasting are a blessing. They are often filled with special celebrations, yummy food, and deep joy.  However, the example we see in Scripture does not reserve hospitality exclusively for the holidays.

In Acts 2:42 we read of the early church that “they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” Then later in verse 46, “And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts.”

They did this daily. The custom of the early church was togetherness, not just around feasts or celebrations, but every day.

(From Angela: our family discovered after a cross-country move that even in the same country, the culture of togetherness varies so much!  But being brave enough to open our “homes”, no matter what they or the culture look like, opens the door to genuine, transformative relationship-building!  I’m seeing our adult daughter practice this in a different country and culture, and it amazes me.)

Looking over church history reveals the same thing. As the authors of The Simplest Way to Change the World said, “Ordinary does not equal insignificant… we must remember that the church has progressed for 2 millennia on God’s power at work around ordinary kitchen tables and living rooms.”

And that is why hospitality beyond the holidays matters. Throughout church history, God has been working in ordinary situations for his glory through the simple obedience of his people. In this way, God displays his character to the watching world and he gives us a context in which to live out many of the “one another” commands of the Bible.

This is why we need to practice hospitality regularly throughout the year! Maintaining a desire for that when our lives get busy can be genuinely hard though, so there are a few things we can do to keep this a priority.

Recognize the Need

God commands his people to be hospitable (1 Peter 4:9). His commands always have purpose and they are always for our good.

On that basis, we trust him and lean into the practice of regular hospitality. It is messy and often means laying aside our own desires for the good of those around us. It means adding extra plates to the dinner table and extra dishes to the sink. But, God has commanded it and he works through it (Hebrews 13:2).

Hospitality gives us a context to live out the “one another” commands of the Bible and show the watching world both the character of God and the testimony of his people.

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It announces that all who will come are welcome at Christ’s table and, as Rosaria Butterfield said, it is how God intends to fulfill his will for people such as setting them in families (Psalm 68:6).

Make It a Rhythm

Hospitality can be overwhelming as we get started. Inviting others into our real lives and real homes with all their imperfections can feel downright hard. Add to that the nervousness that comes from getting a meal and a house ready for guests and maybe even trying to keep kids entertained while we do it and hospitality can feel nearly impossible.

As with any skill, hospitality is learned. We gain a level of confidence as we dig in and do the work. Our efforts may very well feel difficult and discouraging at first. We might struggle with a tendency to want to impress our guests and focus on what they will think about us. We might get stressed about food prep and extra cleaning and feel like we are losing our joy.

But, as with any skill, we must expect that proficiency won’t be immediate. Perseverance, when it’s difficult, leads to beautiful results because God uses our weak efforts for his glory.

And so we must make learning hospitality a priority. Maybe we start with one day a month. Maybe we can even make it once a week. But in order to set a commitment to grow in hospitality, we must choose a time and put it on the calendar. And then we do the same thing next month. Making it a rhythm in our homes will help hospitality become something we look forward to with joyful anticipation.

Hospitality is contagious and the more we grow in it, the more we will want to make it a priority.

Ask someone else to do it with you

We shouldn’t do this work alone! We can ask friends and fellow church members to come alongside us in this effort. Some can do the work with us, others can keep us accountable, all can pray.

If we see the need and want to make hospitality a part of our lives throughout the year, this is a critical step.

We can team up with friends. If we have a great space for hosting but don’t like to cook, asking a friend who enjoys cooking to make the meal and then inviting fellow church members, visitors, or neighbors is a great way to ensure more people have the chance to practice hospitality and also ensure we don’t have as much overwhelm.

Perhaps the most important element about asking for help is that it provides accountability. Making any change to our habits requires dedication and commitment. There will be times when we will lose our focus, take our eyes off Christ, and feel like hospitality is not worth the day to day effort. That is when those friends who teaming up with us can come alongside, remind us of the purpose, and revive our hearts.

Make it Simple

Hospitality during the holidays often corresponds to beautiful home decor and elaborate extras like tablescapes and huge meals.

Hospitality beyond the holidays often won’t include any of that. Despite what Pinterest might lead you to believe, the beauty in hosting guests doesn’t come from any extra decor, gourmet meals, or favors we send home. Instead, it comes from truly welcoming others into our real lives to live life beside us.

There is beauty in toy-strewn floors, loud children and normal dinners. Keeping hospitality simple allows us to do it with joy even during the busy seasons of the year.

(From Angela: I believe everyday hospitality literally has the power to transform our world, when we place our homes and willingness to open them in love, in God’s hands.  I shared more about radical everyday hospitality that has nothing to do with setting a pretty table, in my friend’s story in Racism, Adoption, and the Truth About Freedom.)

Embracing a Rhythm of Hospitality Beyond the Holidays

Hospitality during the holidays is a beautiful thing. Hospitality anytime is a beautiful thing. Embracing a rhythm of hospitality in our homes gives us the chance to live in simple, faith-filled obedience daily as we watch God move in our midst.

Our gracious God commanded hospitality for our good. Embracing that reality will lead us to joy-filled obedience as we seek to live life in light of that calling. Our ordinary moments, throughout the year, can be beautiful when we commit them to Christ and watch as he works through them.

Katie Deckert is a wife and busy mom on a mission to cultivate community in northern Virginia. She is passionate about providing gospel help for hosting so that women everywhere will be equipped to open their hearts and homes to others as they live out the gospel’s radical welcome. She writes about hospitality, homemaking, and cultivating community at her blog Hospitable Homemaker.  Great resources from Katie:

• 15 Gatherings You Can Plan in 15 Minutes
• The Cultivate Community Binder 
• The coolest insight on Hospitality for Men

Looking for some other resources to help you be more hospitable, for the sake of God’s love?

• These Paleo Peach Streusel Muffins go great with a cup of tea and a friend-date
• Rosaria Butterfield’s The Gospel Comes With A House Key has shaped so many hearts to be ready to open the front door and share life
• Easy Main Dish Salad Recipes are a great fast, easy and delicious meal to serve for last-minute guests (no fear!)