We know identity is a huge issue in our world today. What determines who you are and how you’ll live? Dig in with me to answer the question of, “how do you identify?”
Recently I found myself in maybe the most awkward 30 minutes in my adult life. And I know I can be dramatic, but it really felt that way. I was with a group of other believers and in this setting, I was the “new girl.” The people around me were talking about some deep and heavy things they’d recently walked through, and while I know without a doubt these are not people who meant to be unkind or unwelcoming, I couldn’t help but feel awkwardly “talked around” as they discussed what was on their minds. While I’m pretty driven when it comes to pursuing connection, I felt weird enough that at a point, I ducked my head, slipped out, and went to sit alone while I waited for the event to start. I spent some time a day or two later talking with friends, and when I shared, each of them opened up with a time when they, too, had felt weird or unwelcome in a setting that should have been comfortable and inviting.
So what is it that makes us feel out of place with even those God’s called us into a family relationship with? Over the next few weeks I’d like to tackle this, and today we’re starting with identity. I think it’s important we answer the question of how we identify ourselves, and answer it truthfully. Until we do that, we won’t know or even care how we’re called, then, to live!
Recently I read a post from a pastor online about introverts and extroverts. He commented that neither is a spiritual gift we must cultivate. I replied that neither is, also, an excuse to ignore the ways God calls us to be inviting, for the sake of the gospel. It was amazing the number of comments that followed about how that was easy for me to say as an extrovert (these people don’t know me), how “we” expect others to be outgoing because it comes easily to “us,” and more. It was immediately clear how much weight humans place on our “identity,” as defined by personality tests, books, and whole schools of identity philosophy.
Listen, I love me a good personality test! I remember as early as high school, studying about golden retrievers and lions, and “high I’s,” and more. Then I was introduced by a family member to the Enneagram (see below for sources that inform my thoughts on that particular philosophy). Whether we are Christians or not, people tend to define themselves by these categories, and the categories then tend to dictate how we live (and maybe especially, how we give ourselves permission to live or not live). Whatever you think your personality type may be (introvert, extrovert, creative, techy, shy, challenger, strengths Finder, Enneagram #xyz), it is secondary to your full identity as God defines it.
Here’s the thing: no matter what certain tools may do for us, they cannot be given more weight than the word of the One who created us. So let’s dive into what God’s word has to say about how we “identify” ourselves.
Throughout discussions on the topic of identity, I’ve had the song “Hello, My Name Is,” from Matthew West, stuck in my head. My favorite lines: “Hello, my name is child of the One true King; I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, I have been set free; Amazing grace is the song I sing; Hello, my name is child of the one true King; … What love the Father Has lavished upon us, that we should be called His children; I am a child of the One true King.”
Biblical principles we can look to as we decide how we “identify:”
- We are created by God, uniquely male and female (see Genesis 1). That uniqueness is later affirmed in God’s instructions to Christians on how to live in their homes, in the church, in their communities. Our gender is God-given and it is beautiful. And its very uniqueness plays a part in how God calls us to interact with each other.
- In Jeremiah 1:5-10, God is speaking to the prophet Jeremiah: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah responds, “Then I said, ‘Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.’ The Lord says to him, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the LORD.” We see from their interaction that God determines calling even before conception. We see that life in the womb is sacred and fully personhood. We see that our natural tendencies do not define our calling, but rather God’s decision. And we can walk confidently in our calling, because God is WITH us and equips us.
- John 1:11-13 says of Jesus, “He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” When we repent of our sins and accept the gift of salvation, because God willed it, we become His children.
- Romans 6 tells us, because of the saving grace of God, those who are in Christ are “dead to sin,” and “united with Him in death” and therefore “united with Him in resurrection,” called to live as we are “dead to sin.” This means part of our identity as Christ-followers is those who, formerly spiritually dead, are free from the bondage of sin, and fully alive because of His work in us!
- In Ephesians 1, those who are saved are called “predestined for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will…” If we are His, it is because God chose us, and it pleases Him! We can take great confidence in His work, and rejoice in our new life!
- Ephesians 2:1-10 says, “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Paul later says we are “one in Christ,” “fellow citizens with the saints,” “members of the household of God,” as well!) We are identified as beloved, made alive, saved, lavished by grace and kindness, and gifted – by the work of God Himself. We are also now part of a set-apart family of people – His children… and this will define how we interact with each other, too!
- 1 Peter 2 tells us we are, in Christ, a “chosen people,” royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, and we’re called, because of this identity, to “declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light!”
- In 1 Peter 4:7-11 the command is given, “The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.” As we ask the question of who we really are, we’re told that we are called to use whatever strengths, gifts, personality traits we have, to pray, to use self-control, to give, to love, and to show joyful hospitality.
This is just the tip of the iceberg! Our identity as children of God through Christ is woven throughout all of scripture – and extra-biblical history shows us powerful examples of how God’s people walked out that identity!
John Piper says this: “The big questions in life are not ‘Who am I?’ The big question in life is ‘Whose am I?’ You have got to answer that question. Whose are you? Whose are you? That’s the issue. In the twentieth century, we get all bent out of shape about self-identity and stuff. Who am I, and my worth, and my esteem, and my value, and all that — man. When you read the Bible, the huge issue is right relationship with God and to whom you belong, whose you are.” (source)
It is vital as we ask the question of, “who am I?” we find the answer in the words of the One who made us, who lavishly loves us, and who calls us to walk according to the identity with which He has gifted us, because of that great love.
In her book, The Hidden Art of Homemaking, Edith Schaeffer says, “There are various art forms we may or may not have talent for, may or may not have time for, and we may or may not be able to express ourselves in, but we ought to consider this fact-that whether we choose to be an environment or not, we are. We produce an environment other people have to live in. We should be conscious of the fact that this environment which we produce by our very ‘being’ can affect the people who live with us or work with us.”
PS: I think the most obvious answer to the question of “how do you identify?” is not found in our sexual activity, the color of our skin, our most comfortable settings, our our natural talents. Our identity – oh YES! – is found in the richest, most beautiful fullness, in our relationship with the God of the universe, who stepped down and invited us into intimate relationship with Himself.
Resources:
- Enneagram: Alisa Childers, Mama Bear Apologetics part 1 & part 2, Sean McDowell, Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, Got Questions, The Gospel Coalition, and Kevin DeYoung
- Edith Schaeffer Hidden Art (this is the original version I have) or The Hidden Art of Homemaking
- Desiring God on Identity
- John Piper, “How Do I Find My Identity?”
RELATED EPISODES:
How to Read the Bible and Love It
When We Feel Afraid But God Is Bigger
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