How to Let Go of Your Fears and Host a Bible Study

One of my personal greatest blessings is the time I’ve spent in my home or others’ homes, studying the Bible together with other women.  I do love the opportunity to attend ministry gatherings and small groups at our church, but there’s something about being outside the building that creates a sense of intimacy, a willingness to humbly seek wisdom and accountability together, and to encourage putting what we learn into practice.  However, it seems like hosting ANYTHING can be a scary task, and the idea of hosting a Bible study brings with it a whole other level of scary.  A friend I admire for her in-depth study and teaching of the Bible recently reached out to me and surprised me by sharing her own fears, which made me realize again my own, which made me decide maybe we all need a little encouragement for how to let go of your fears and host a Bible study!  I promise… it’s worth it.  🙂  So here are five fears you can drop today, and dare to open your door (and your Bible) with some other ladies!

My house isn’t big/clean/nice enough.

Is it Pinterest that ruined us?  Not many of us have friends with mansions, but I hear this concern so often.  I wonder if the Pioneer ladies worried about whether their clotheslines were neatly kept, or if there was ample seating for guests.  Did they gather to chat about their love for Jesus over their knitting needles and embroidery hoops?  Regardless, I think we can let go of the fear that our house won’t measure up…

• Everyone has the same concerns.  At least, as far as I can tell.  So when you break down the barrier and say, “come on in,” you’re in good company!  But you also break down the walls of our hearts, because offering what you have, whether it’s a roomy suburban home or a room in your dorm, is an act of love.  And for me, when a house is humble, I feel even more relaxed and at home, because I’m not worried how I measure up!
• Cozy is a good thing.  Whether you pull in dining room chairs or curl up on the living room floor, coming together creates intimacy we don’t find in a bigger space.  No one expects you to host them in the rec room of your apartment complex (but if you need to, then take advantage of what you have!).
• Consider co-hosting with a friend.  Maybe you legitimately don’t have room to host the group you’d like to invite.  Does your friend?  Offer to bring a snack or do the inviting and help with clean-up if she will open her space.  What a great way to model what the New Testament believers did in serving each other for the sake of the gospel!  (See Acts 4 for an example of this.)
• Meet outside your house.  It’s taken a few years, but our town finally has a cute coffee shop and bakery with ample seating, a great atmosphere, good coffee, kind hospitality and gluten-free baked goods.  It’s owned by fellow Christians!  Since it’s my dream to own something similar myself, I’m so excited to give them my business and have met several friends there to “talk Jesus” and pray together over a latte!  You don’t have to worry about cleaning before or after your gathering, and you might have the opportunity to talk to others about why you meet to study the Bible together!  (*Be sure to thank your hosts and leave a great tip if you meet “out.”  That’s a powerful part of your testimony!)

I don’t have time.

In a world of busy and hurry, it seems overwhelming to commit to a weekly study, and hosting it puts more responsibility on you.

• You can totally double task when doing Bible study with others. Is there an area you know you need to grow? A book of the Bible you’ve been wanting to study? Invite a friend to join you. Studying with someone else (and even studying to teach others) is a powerful way to grow in your personal relationship with Jesus and in your relationship-building skills.
• Take a hard look at where your time goes. Often when I say I “don’t have time” for something, I realize it’s because I spent time doing something that was less meaningful. (When my teen son showed me the “screen time” on my phone, I was mortified. Where do all those minutes and hours go?) Are you volunteering somewhere you don’t need to? Wandering the (ahem, not guilty) aisles of your favorite store to “escape?” Watching a show you don’t need to or involved in a social group that’s not really growing you or meaningful relationships?  What can you drop from your calendar to make space for hosting a Bible study (and transforming your life and relationships?!)?
• Consider sharing hosting responsibilities with a friend. You can take turns preparing the lesson material. You can take turns hosting.  If someone is sick or has need of a short break, you can help bear the load.
• Set a time limit.  I’ve found saying “we will meet for xx weeks,” or “we will meet for 12 chapters,” can relieve any fears for hosting OR accepting an invite to join a study.  You could also try hosting your group in between set natural calendar breaks, like “we’ll meet during Friday mornings while the kids are in school,” or “let’s have Bible study during the summer when the church ladies’ ministry takes a break.”  When I’ve hosted gatherings with neighbors who weren’t sure about Bible study, for instance, it has helped to say, “let’s meet for a month and revisit to see if we want to keep at it!”  It gives you a chance to change course or rest and regroup when needed.

I asked my dear friend Kim, whose first-time hosting a Bible study in her home is one of the highlights of my week, to share some of her fears about hosting a Bible study.  She said, “I was afraid of hosting a weekly Bible study – that it might rob me of time with my family… would there be enough time to do it every week? I realized when I went for it… alll time is the Lord’s. When you serve Him, he creates the most beautiful way for you and your family to grow during those hours. “

I Can’t Cook

NO PROBLEM!

• First of all, food isn’t necessary (although it is nice).  If you want to skip it, skip it!  A pitcher of lemons and some sliced lemons or hot water and tea bags are a nice treat.  😉
• Ask attendees to take turns bringing a small snack.  There’s no reason you personally have to provide food (unless that brings you joy!), and accepting others’ offer to help brings them joy, also!  It also can help address any concerns for allergies and food sensitivity – guests can bring something “safe” for them to eat.  Even better if everyone takes a turn!
• Keep it simple.  Have a bowl of dark-chocolate almonds on the table each week and leave it at that. (A little sweet, a little nutritious, perfection!)  A friend once told me “some soup, a little bread, are all that’s needed to create a warm welcome in a small gathering.”  If you find it’s easier to share a meal, keep it very simple and it’ll be so much more doable.  Likewise, there’s nothing wrong with a packaged offering if it means less stress for you as you host your Bible study gathering.
• Automate!  If your budget allows, pick up a snack in bulk and keep it in a special place.  Having the same thing week in and out keeps expectations managed and greatly reduces the need to recreate the wheel.  Or ask the same person if she will grab her favorite coffee cake on the way over each week and offer to pitch in a dollar or two as a group.

My friend and mentor, Sarah, lives in a tiny one-room apartment in a senior adult community.  The mere matter of space can’t stop her, though.  Each Friday night she hosts several neighbor ladies for dinner and a movie (she leads women in growing in their walk with Jesus in coffee shops, at lunch, and anywhere else God opens the door, too!).  Everyone pitches in for groceries and she delights in cooking a meal – even including recipes for her gluten-sensitive friend, and she creates the most cozy space for hearts to connect, using the home she’s in, in the season she’s in.

I’m not a bible teacher /smart enough /extroverted /good in front of people!

It’s a legit fear, and one we’re wise to consider.  I’m very frustrated by women who attempt to teach and aren’t good students of scripture themselves, and scripture warns us to look out for false teaching.  I step up to speak each time with what I believe is warranted fear and trembling  – it’s a weighty task we should count as very important.  But hosting a Bible study doesn’t mean you have to be an experienced teacher or an amazing people-person.

• Invite a wise Jesus-sister to join you.  I actually think this is pretty important if you can make it happen. Many times I’ve hosted or been in groups where there are several people with big struggles or questions, and it’s really helpful to have someone else to help bring a conversation around or to offer to bring insight later. It’s also helpful to have someone who can navigate the Bible for answers to hard questions while the conversation continues, and reference pertinent scripture later. For me, maybe the biggest reason to have a wise and trusted friend around is accountability. I want to be humble enough and hungry enough for truth, that I’m willing to be challenged if I say something inaccurate  I also believe it models something important for other attendees, too: we all get it wrong sometimes, and we are part of “the body” for a reason!

**If you can’t get someone to join you who is ahead of you in your spiritual or personal season, don’t let this stop you. I encourage you to still seek someone to pray for you as you meet and serve as a source of wisdom and accountability and a sounding board when you have concerns. But ultimately, if you have the Holy Spirit indwelling you as a Christian, He will teach and equip you as you put yourself in the study of the Bible. “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” -2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV)

• Use a published study and/or video.  There are many good Bible studies written that include questions and assignments or video you can watch together. (I share some on my Bible study resources page.)  Do a little digging and find a study already published that you can do together.
• You don’t have to “teach,” yourself.  In a monthly women’s brunch and Bible study I co-lead for our community, we encourage small group leaders to remember they are “facilitators.” It’s their job (and I would argue, it’s everyone’s our job as followers of Jesus!) to point others to Him, and to knowing God through the Bible. While it’s important to be diligent and study yourself, ultimately it’s the job of the Holy Spirit to convict, to teach, to equip us and more, so the burden can be lifted off your shoulders. If there’s a question you can’t answer, look it up. It’s absolutely ok to say “I don’t know the answer!”  But point those studying with you to look to the source for all truth: What does the Bible say? Ask God to make it clear and as you continue, He will.
• Leading/hosting a group is good motivation to personally grow.  Get a good quality commentary (or use an online site like Bible Gateway to dig deeper where you have questions) and study a week or two ahead of the women you’re hosting. It’s good leadership and it will help your whole group grow. But even if you’re right in the same place, hosting others is a form of “external accountability” to be diligent in studying the Bible and spending time in prayer and meditation on God’s teaching. I often say I’m “learning out loud” when I talk to other women about something God’s working on in my life. I’ll point to a biblical principle I’m learning in a given situation and day, “This is what I think God is teaching me; maybe you need to learn it, too!” If we do this humbly, there’s room for us to be corrected when needed, and ultimately we keep pointing others back to the One who does the teaching, convicting, and equipping.
• About that awkwardness: the truth is, we’re all a little afraid of being awkward.  But we all want to be welcomed, & God wants us to welcome each other & know him better, together. Plan to make a cup of tea together when ladies arrive, and have an “ice breaker” question to get everyone chatting.  Even something as simple as sharing a task like bring chairs from another room can give something to do to help settle in.  It’s also helpful to review questions in advance and if needed, pick out the most important ones you’d like to address if time runs out.  If there’s quiet, as hard as it is, let it sit for a moment (whoosh, this is a hard one for me).  People need time to process their thoughts and quiet time is ok.
• Pray, pray, pray.  Pray as you prepare, for God to help you be equipped to understand His word and help others understand, too.  Pray when you’re nervous about how it will go.  Pray for littles if they’ll be with you.  Pray for schedules and travel safety.  Pray for ears and hearts to be open to hearing and obeying truth.  Pray for people to meet Him for the first time or know Him more deeply.  Pray for God to bring the right people and keep back the wrong ones.  He wants to work in and through you as you open up your home and host a Bible study – after all, it’s His book you’re reading together!

My friend Kim said: “I was worried about other people’s salvation & being too weak with scripture to be able to communicate the Gospel properly. .. Would I have the right words to bring people to Jesus and not push them away? I realized when I went for it that other people’s salvation is not in my hands. The Holy Spirit does the convicting and the person makes the choice for themselves. I am called to lead them to the truth. That part I am accountable for. I am growing in scripture daily as a Christian woman and always will be. We learn and grow by not only reading the word on our own, but also together.”

What about kids?

What if we have to have kids with us?  What if mine or someone else’s kids act up /cause distraction /need me? How do I handle it? Will people be annoyed? Should I even host if I have kids?

The truth is, it’s hard to have kiddos with us when we want to have focused Bible study… but it IS possible, it IS worth it, and it can have unexpected benefits.

• Having your kiddos at Bible study is an opportunity to train your kids and teach them a gospel mindset.  Yes, if they’re toddlers, this will be harder.  But kids can understand much younger than most of us think, how to be quiet for a short time, to wait till there’s an appropriate time for a question, to use a quiet voice while mommy is talking to another lady.  If your kids are tiny, try meeting during nap time or setting up a pack-and-play nearby for a short time.  If they’re older, talk beforehand about the importance of learning the Bible together and of serving others with our time, our hearts, and our homes.  Set up guidelines in advance for what kiddos can and should (or shouldn’t) do during your meeting, when they are safe to interrupt, and honor them by ending when you say you will.
• Be prepared to laugh when it’s tricky.  Your kids WILL embarrass you.  Or someone else’s kids will annoy you.  Someone will interrupt and need to go potty when you’re “having a moment” and deep thoughts are pouring out.  A toddler will wander in covered in chocolate and carrying a used coffee cup (true story; see below note about lidded cups)!!!  It’s ok – breathe deep and use it as an opportunity for a giggle and if needed, a teaching moment.  Gently address the issue, instruct the “offender,” and move on as you’re able.  Those little people are precious in His sight, and He will use this opportunity in your life and theirs.  (If you keep your cool, it can also be a sweet opportunity to offer grace or model it for another mama.)
• Hire a babysitter.  If you can, consider hiring a young person (or older lady) or asking for a volunteer to help watch littles while you meet.  Relating to the above principle, our older kids have each been expected to help with childcare and children’s ministry at appropriate times.  It’s a great way to help them serve others and provides opportunity to teach them how to be good leaders and interact with little people.  (**Be sure to lay out clear boundaries and expectations for older children when working with younger ones and always be within earshot or eyesight for any concerns.)
• Set up a video or audio book.  If needed, take advantage of media in a time like this.  Source Christian videos for kids and put one or two on for this time – it’s using “entertainment” for a good purpose.  Our kids also LOVED Focus on the Family and other trusted Christian publishers’ audio books.  (Chuck Black is a personal acquaintance and his “knights” series are phenomenal.  You’ll actually want to listen to these as a family!)

These next two tips come an excellent article from Katie at Hospitable Homemaker (read the full post for awesome insight on hosting families with young kids!).

• Have snacks on hand. I’d add, make them mess-free, no-prep, contained snacks.  And water in a lidded cup.  😉
• Lay down the ground rules.  Sometimes, we’re afraid to set out rules, because we don’t want to offend.  This can actually create more stress for parents and host, because no one is quite sure what is “ok” or not okay.  It can also create possiblity for danger for kiddos, so it’s important to buck up and make a few rules.  Choose one area (in earshot/eyesight unless you have some help with supervision) that is child-proofed and make it welcoming for kiddos.  Let them know your basic requests (food only in the kitchen, here are the games you can play, keep the door open, etc…).  It’s a great idea to do this right at the beginning and with mom present, so you can work as a team to make it flow well for everyone.

More resources to to help you lose the fear and host a Bible study:

• A great article on how your kids can help with hospitality by Katie at Hospitable Homemaker
• Katie also shared awesome insight on how to host a Bible study with excellent book recommendations
• Stephanie at Read Cook Devour has awesome resources for effective Bible Study
• My Bible study resources page 

It’s worth it!  Let go of your fears and host a Bible study!  Open your heart, open your home, and grow together.

Inspiring (brave, gospel-driven) welcome, 

Angela